i cannot fathom how people can be so emotionally involved and literally over night be so placid.
i pity those people. i never want to be like that. at least i know when i say i love someone unconditionally, it really is.
i pity those people who give up, those who jump to the next thrill...to the next and so on and so forth.
what an empty life to lead. although, it may not catch up to you now it most certaintly will later...when it really counts.
those kind of people will never know true happiness and they will regret the foolish decisions they make so swiftly now later.
this sort of affirmation makes my pain subside a little.
i feel like i am growing and it hurts to see me growing past a few that i really care about. its like those escalator walk way things at the airport. you see people not on them walking, although they are walking you are walking much faster..the next thing you know you are ahead of them and they are a distance behind you. i hate this feeling. i know i must continue on growing but i dont want to see someone i care about stagnant.
lately, im averaging about one panic attack a day. i couldnt even really tell you why. i have a gut feeling somethings not right. few things dont measure up.
..and i really need a care.

good news: ill be helping promote and work at christian concerts like spirit west coast and joshuafest..as well as typical concerts. its a great opportunity and its something i dont want to miss out on. traveling, free concerts and meeting some awesome christian people. ya defintely dont want to miss out on that!