time.

its been almost a month since he left and i havent been able to shed a tear. am i horrible? i am so angry that i cant..i am angry with myself because i feel selfish. does this make sense? most likely not i am sure.i feel like this anger is affecting my life outside of my mind. affecting the people i am close too. i just want to feel something other than anger. i want to cry. weird as that sounds, i want to cry.

p.s shark week is the shit.






love.love.love.

Dark Knight pt2

I know my last post i ranted about the Dark Knight crowd, but thanks to them the Cheesecake Factory was crowded which means thanks to this movie i too was able to reap the benefits and make some money. So THANK YOU!

on a lighter note, i am so very happy my boyfriend, who had neglected me for over a month for Europe, is FINALLY returning tonight. I wont be cuddle deprived any longer. I am just not looking forward to my phone bill, eeeeeeek!

I am moving soon, and its coming up alot faster than i thought it would. I just wish the roommate situation with my upcoming roommate will get settled soon so i can get situated.

ok, thats all..ive got to get MY shit together and get some errands done before tonight!





love.love.love.

wow.

it simply amazes me, the human race that is. i love getting cut off right before pulling into the parking structure for work from some Dark Knight crazed individual who sadly tried to mock the jokers face with his incredulous face paint. wow. this all taking place at 10am! mind you this movie doesnt start til 12:45 am and as im writing this it is barely 11pm! walking into work and seeing the lines of people already forming just surprises me!! these people have waited 12 hours for a movie sitting in almost 90 degree weather on concrete for a movie. only in irvine would you see these kids dressed up in costume sitting on the sidewalk sipping on their venti carmel macchiatos while surfing the net on their macbooks. all this in a line for a movie!!!! wow. it must be nice to not have a life and have this sort of leisure. scratch that, ill make that 12 hour slot useful, go to the beach and go see the movie in 2 days when the attendance rate will decrease significantly!

really, i am amazed.





love.love.love.

on repeat, repeat, repeat.

love.love.love.

trust.

trust is such a dynamic term. everyone wants trust but how many people actually take the neccessary steps in order to obtain trust from another? i firmly believe trust is not expected, its earned. i think its easier to learn to trust someone new because there is almost an innocence until proven wrong sort of thing. i hate having my trust broken, its one of the most damning feelings i could have. its like someone knocking the wind out of you. first you lose the trust, try to gain it back but then there is that looming doubt in the back of your mind. i don't want that, but i do have it-its sickening. i hate feeling like this. i get it in spurts and tonight its overwhelming. how do i shake this?
i suppose this is it for now.
hopefully tomorrow ill feel better.




love.love.love.

I'm back.

So i've decided once more to roll this out. I just found this and luckily remembered passwords,etc. shocking i must say. I figured this will be the best way you all can know whats going on this brain of mine and with my impending move this will be provide the communication i once had ...and considering its 130am..i have absolutely nothing to contribute that has really anything of substance. haha.


Goodnight.