chances...

i dont think there can be change without progress. change in heart, change in motive, and change in intentions. without that...nothing will occur. i firmly believe the internet has become part of the decline in successful relationships. how easy is it for a guy to lust over a girl, talk to her and any other form of communication now? so easy! i hate this. i hate cheaters. i hate hearing about and i hate seeing it.
story:
a friend dates this guy. they have a few problems. they work it out. yet while my friend thinks things are golden he is talking to girls online, lusting after their pictures, lying about it when asked. then bam...it leads to wondering minds and a girl with low self worth and esteem because she feels she isnt good enough to keep a guy monogamous.

i wish i never have to witness this. its horrible and should never be like this. honesty should always be the policy. not wondering minds. before you go out and check out the opposite sex, think about what it does to the person you "love" mentally. its not great and completely unfair.

everyone deserves to be loved and be THE ONLY ONE catching your eye.
good thing i have something concrete and honest...and i hope i never have to go through this.


love.love.love.

useless post...but.

i love charlie more than anything in the whole wide world. she makes me so freakin happy, going home to a ninja kitty every night who loves to snuggle 24/7 is so amazing.



love.love.love.

...

the thing i hate the most about growing up is growing up to find this world is not a safe place, and honesty is hard to find.
i wish i could have that innocence back. seeing the world through those eyes again would be a beautiful relief right about now.
in a world where people dont intentionally hurt the ones they "love". the most hurt you would inflict is not hanging out with someone for recess but then the next morning its all back to normal. i miss that.
how can you "love" someone if you are continually hurting them....there comes a time where its not intentional does not fly and it become subconscious. but whose fault is that but your own if you continue to let it happen.



im tired of being talked down to..im tired of being mistreated...im tired of not getting what i deserve, which i believe is the world.
im a good person and i deserve this.


i just want to feel safety.comfort. security....all at the end of the day..all this knowing that im not alone. and this world isnt such a cold dark place.

but in light, i have some sort of warmth..knowing that we're golden.




hope.hope.hope.

xerox copies.

what will it take for some originality around here. original people NOT trying to mold into some scene or better yet being carbon copies of others!!! BE YOURSELF!
i need some sort of excitement around, im going to pull my hair out.
everything the same...bar this, bar there..is there something else to do in fresno that doesnt involve a bar?!
does drinking really make friends? maybe im coming across quasi-judgemental but how can you form the fundamental basis of a lasting friendship at .... a bar?!
that is the rant of the day...next post will hopefully be less negative haha!
i just want something more than this bar scene...there is much more i am sure of it!


love.love.love. [you know, the original one ;)]